Email: angelskuuipo@yahoo.com
Pairing: Angelus/Willow
Rating: pg-13/R (references to bdsm and torture)
Distribution: Check me out! Some of my stories are now archived at Souls in Peril. Thanks Missy! Also Red's Soulmates and Vampire Haven can have any of my stuff. Anyone else just ask. I'll say yes, just want to know where it's going.
Disclaimer: I bow to the altar of the genius that is Joss. Angel and co. aren't mine. I'm only playing and promise to return them when I'm done though Angel will probably be late; he's such a nummy treat. No insult, infringement, or injury is intended.
Spoilers: up to and including 'Passion'
Feedback: Crave it like the little praise whore I am.
Author's Note: This is a sequel to 'Progress'. Again this is unbetaed so any mistakes are solely mine. *Big waves* to everyone who's sent me feedback on the other pieces in the series. Thanks so very much, especially Gabrielle whose Dollhouse series played a part in the format for this. You're the best. For Rosa: thank you, thank you, thank you for your help with CT. *Sends big hugs over the net*
Summary: Willow's thoughts
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I asked myself a couple of weeks ago if I was broken. If I wasn't then I am now. Angelus didn't break me, my friends did. I have been violated by transgression, subdued completely. In other words I've been betrayed; by the people I thought more of as my family than my own.
They don't miss me. They don't care about me. I've been replaced and apparently nary a thought has been spared for me for a few weeks now. Giles has Oz to do the computer thing for him. Amy is there too to help with research and witchy stuff. Buffy has a new boyfriend. So much for the 'woe is me' my love is gone shtick and Xander and Cordelia.well let's just say that was the straw that broke Willow. He'd been my best friend since we were five years old and I really thought I meant more to him than getting into Cordelia's pants did.
I guess I was wrong.
How do I know all of this? Angelus clued me in. Oh I know what you're thinking. 'How could you take his word for it Wills? You know he's just trying to manipulate you.' Yeah well he may be and he's succeeding, but he brought me proof. He told me he'd been watching them, seeing what kind of progress they've been making in trying to find me. He started videotaping the nightly research sessions and also caught them at the Bronze. He showed me the tapes. I know enough to figure out that the tapes haven't been altered. They're genuine.
I've been forgotten.
Angelus finally told me what he wants from me. Me. He wants me, wholly and completely. He wants me to eventually rule by his side as his childe and mate.
I'm considering it.
Yeah I know how could I possibly consider letting him turn me into a soulless evil killer? Do you have any idea how much I hurt right now? I'm thinking it would be a blessing to not care anymore.
The door opens so I stop the tape that I've been watching. It's not like I haven't watched the damn thing repeatedly. It's the most recent play date at the Bronze. Doesn't everyone just look so happy? Bastards.
Well this is new. Angelus is wheeling Spike into the room. He's the first new face I've seen since I've been here.
"Hi" I say. Wow is that really my voice? It's so.calm.
Angelus is watching me curiously. I wonder what he sees right now?
"How are you little one?" he asks me. He sounds so sincerely concerned about me.
"Do you really have to ask?" Why hasn't Spike said anything yet? He's just watching me, but I sense no malice in him towards me so I'm content with the silence from him for now.
He wheels Spike over near the couch I'm on then sits down next to me. Angelus pulls me into his lap and I go willingly. I've learned in the last couple of weeks that I like his touch. We've done nothing more than kiss and he holds me when I sleep. It's.comfortable.
But right now being in his lap is anything but comfortable. The ice around my heart is cracking and if I don't do something soon I'll shatter to pieces.
Without any warning I crush my lips to his and force my tongue into his mouth. I can tell he wasn't expecting that but he recovers quickly and takes control of the kiss. When I finally pull away to breathe he's watching me warily.
"Make me forget" is all I say.
He looks at Spike apologetically and the blonde nods once then wheels himself out of the room shutting and locking the door behind him.
Angelus is studying me. I guess whatever he sees in my eyes answers his questions, because he smiles slowly at me and says, "I'll make you strong."
My resolve wavers at that. "Are you going to turn me now?"
He shakes his head. "No it's too soon for that. But I can make you strong in other ways. You can reap revenge on those who've hurt you."
Revenge. That word rolls around in my brain like liquid silk. Make them hurt. I like the sound of that.
"I'm yours." It's what he's wanted all along and now I'm ready to give it to him.
I may be broken right now, but Angelus is going to put me back together. And when he's done? Watch out Sunnydale.
The end